There are many, many people that struggle with shyness and social anxiety. It can be a burden that affects many areas of a person’s life. Overcoming shyness and social anxiety is possible, but it does take a little bit of work and the person has to be willing to step outside of their comfort zone.
The only place that someone can grow is outside of their comfort zone. Let’s use a bodybuilder as an example. If that body builder want to get bigger, he can sit around and get bigger, (muscle-wise anyway, I guess he could get fat.) he can’t lift weights that give him no challenge. He has got to lift weights that give him enough resistance to break his muscles down so they can build up bigger and stronger.
If you want to improve at any aspect of your life, you have to be willing to do things that stretch you a little. When I played video games, I didn’t keep playing the video games that I beat or were easy to me. I wanted a challenge.
I understand that some people that suffer from shyness and social anxiety think that social interactions are the worst experience in the world. (I know, I used to be one of them) But social interaction can open up many opportunities to you and when you start succeeding at social interactions it’s amazing how shyness and social anxiety start to disappear.
I wanted to give you a few pointers that you could use to help you during a social interaction. First off, you have got to be open to new opportunities. You have got to step outside of your comfort zone if you want to overcome shyness and social anxiety.
Start by planning more and worrying less. If you have two boxers who have a match in a week, who do you think is going to have the advantage, the boxer who spends his time worrying about the match or the boxer who spends his time preparing for the match. Of course it’s the boxer who prepares for the match, so instead of dreading how bad a social interaction is going to suck, plan for it. Try to come up with some conversation topics. Think about what you can do to fit in rather than look out of place. How can you prepare for your unique event?
Focus on the people and the situations you’re in. Don’t get caught up in your head. If you suffer from shyness and social anxiety, you are going to be overly self conscious about what people are thinking about you. Focus outward, not in. When you focus outward, you will be less likely to be haunted by the negative thinking going on in your head. I’ll use a video game for example. When you’re playing a video game, do you focus on what’s going on in your head? No, you focus on what is going on on the screen and you are re-acting to it. Your focus is completely outward. Apply the same thing to social interactions.
Another trick you can use is to be interested in the person you’re talking to. Listen to what that person is saying. Do not think about what you are going to say next while that person is speaking. Listen to what that person is saying, then respond. Give the person you are speaking to your full undivided attention.
Try to find common ground with however it is you are speaking to. If you are able to find common ground and find something that both of you have in common, you will become more relaxed. We all like to talk about things that interest us and we know a lot about, so see if there is something you have in common.
Listen for cues. The person who you are speaking with will give you all the cues of how to continue the conversation. Your job is to pay attention to the cues. Relax as much as you can and enjoy the interaction for what it is. Nothing more, nothing less.
These are just a few steps you can use to overcome shyness and social anxiety during a social interaction. Try not to get caught up in the negative thinking going on in your head. Remember to focus outward instead of in. Social interactions should be fun, so have fun with them and don’t take it so seriously.
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